Premarital Counseling Scottsdale
Looking for premarriage counseling in Scottsdale? Look no further.
Often times I hear from people that it is too early to come in for premarital counseling, or things are good right now, why rock the boat? Or, we don’t need counseling, we are not even married yet.
What couples don’t realize is that there are certain subjects that ALL couples should discuss before considering marriage. Premarital counseling will better help prepare you and your spouse for a variety of topics before they become a problem. Discussing and resolving many common issues via premarital counseling will become the basis for a long and happy relationship.
Although you may want different things, you want to discuss this with your partner to ensure that you are each willing to aid and support the other one in achieving their goals – personal, career, and family.
PREMARITAL COUNSELING TOPICS SHOULD INCLUDE:
Life’s & Career Goals:
- Understanding and agreeing about the priority of each of your careers
- Will both of you work?
- Will one of you stop working when children are born?
- Is traveling for work acceptable to both of you?
- Which one do you think needs to take a back seat career or family?
- Is your partner willing to pick up the slack and help you achieve your goals, and at what expense?
- If an opportunity presents itself, are you willing to relocate for your partner’s career?
- Do you want children, and if so a small or large family?
- How will you share the responsibility of taking care of the children?
- What is your philosophy on child rearing and appropriate methods of discipline?
- What was your childhood like, and do you agree or disagree with the way you were raised?
- Discuss whose family you will spend the holidays with, and how much time and involvement will your families have on your new family.
- Do you want to send your children to private school or public school?
- This is one of the most difficult topics for many, but the one that causes the most problems down the line.
- Discuss how your finances will be shared.
- Will you have a joint account or separate ones?
- Will each person put in a percentage
- will you share the financial responsibilities evenly, or are you both all in sharing what you each have?
- Who will pay the bills?
- Discuss up front what is considered a large purchase, and will you discuss these large purchases with your partner prior to making them?
- How will you resolve financial disputes?
- What about current debt, how do you plan to take care of that?
- What will you do if one of you can’t or chooses not to work, how will you handle that?
- Do you both have the same financial goals, or the same need for financial security? What does that entail?
Gender role expectation:
- Do you both believe in traditional roles, such as the woman taking care of the home and the family and the man bringing in the income?
- Do you recognize that as a dual income family home that the chores and children should be shared evenly?
Resolution: All couples have disagreements, the important factor is not if you will have an argument but:
- How will you handle it?
- What are the ground rules?
- How long can you bring up someone’s mistake and use that against them?
- Do you both argue in the same manner, or does one need time to cool off?
- What do you need from your partner to feel secure?
- Most importantly how will you handle the after math of a disagreement?
The above five premarital headings are sample questions that all healthy relationships have discussed and resolved.
If you find yourself having difficulty discussing these subjects, or need help resolving them call Dina at Family Coaching, LLC (480) 433-2800 to set up an appointment to help you work through these and any other unresolved potential conflicts you may have.
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