5 Ways to Turn an Okay Marriage into A Great Marriage

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Every week I hear couples complain that they are unhappy in their marriage. That there is something missing. They have turned into roommates; they are in a rut, that there is something missing, mostly that it just isn’t the way it used to be and they want more from their relationship.  Although, there are often several factors that contribute to this the most common reason is that they have stopped trying.  Perhaps because we feel we have tried so many times and nothing ever changes or that you are tired of being the only one trying.  You feel sad, betrayed, and lonely.  Here are 5 ways to get the two of you back on the right path towards a happy and loving marriage.

It is not always about being right.

Of course everyone wants to be right.  They want to know that other people see it their way.  That their actions and opinions have been validated.  However, when we have to be right we are saying that it is important for me to show you that you are wrong.  While some, few, things may be worth the argument most things are not.  Ask yourself what are you really winning, and at what cost?  Isn’t a great marriage worth throwing in the towel sometimes, and letting your partner win?

Do not keep score.

In a marriage it is not about keeping score.  Who did more for who.  Who is right more often.  Who helps who more. It is about being united and doing for each other.  Roommates keep score and live in a tit for tat world.  Couples are there to do what they can for the other.  Do it because you can.  Do it because you care.  Do it because you love your partner and you want to return to those days where your spouse meant that much to you. 

Find the good in each other.

Ask yourself are you the type of husband or wife that finds all the flaws with your spouse.  Do you look for what they did wrong or do you praise them and give them credit for what they do right?  Happily married couples make time every day to tell their partner things that they appreciate about them.  Not just the big acts, but the small ones that often get overlooked and forgotten.  Bad times will hit, but the more goodwill you have banked the easier it will be to get through the bad times.

Don’t forget to have fun together.

After all isn’t enjoying each other’s company what brought the two of you together?  I know life gets in the way with work, children, and bills but everyone needs a little downtime.  A chance to once again connect like you used to before…  Go out or stay in but do something fun and enjoyable together.  Make new fun (possibly even romantic) memories.  It is the good times that will give you both energy to get through the difficult times.  Have fun and for just a couple of hours forget everything but enjoying your spouse’s company! 

Be willing to go first.

Saying sorry, initiating peace, a hug, or a kiss does not imply that you are wrong.  It just demonstrates that your relationship is more important to you than the need to be right and make your partner feel bad.  It is definitely not a sign of weakness, but of sacrifice, happiness, and love.  Remember, it is not about keeping score.  After all when you argue everyone loses.  Take the first step in getting help and repairing your relationship.  Call Dina at (480)433-2800 to get started.

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