We see many people coming through couples counseling who want to rekindle the romance in their relationships. The stress of work, family responsibilities, and other external factors can leave people feeling the romance has fizzled out. If this describes you, there are several ways to discover that spark that first drew you together and rekindle your relationship.
1. Get Excited
Plan a date night with your spouse – and then tell people about it. You don’t have to share every detail of where you’re going and what you’re doing, but sharing key ones will go a long way toward getting you excited about dating the person you love. Do you have reservations for that hot new restaurant? Are you going to the spot where you first met? Did you splurge on a new outfit for the occasion? The more you hear it, the more eager you’ll be to go on that date and get to know your spouse again.
2. Tell Your Partner Why You Love Them
“I love you.” Valuable words, but sometimes your partner needs to know the “why” behind them. This makes your partner feel like a unique individual, the one you chose and would choose again. Spend a few minutes thinking about the specific traits that make your partner special. Write them down in a love letter, share them face to face, or send a sweet text.
3. Relearn to Flirt
Many couples inadvertently spoil date night talking about work, taxes, or their kids’ report cards. Date night and other romantic occasions should be ones where you have fun. Relearn how to flirt with each other. Dress up for each other, share a favorite meal, or do a special activity together. Talk about non-urgent, lighthearted things. Joke around, or simply enjoy companionable silence.
4. Learn Something New
This can mean taking up a new class or hobby together, but it also means learning new things about each other. Ask your partner to tell you something you might be surprised to learn about him or her. Done well, this can turn into a fun game that goes on for quite a while.
5. Make Room for Little Moments
Don’t forget romance in the daily grind. Even if you only have a few seconds, use them. Squeeze your partner’s hand, or give him or her a hug. Drop a note in his or her lunch, or send a sweet email while your partner’s at work. Over time, these moments will add up to a stronger relationship.