Couples Counseling Can Help Patch up Your Relationship and Teach You Healthy Methods for Coping With Stress and Disappointment.
It can only be helpful, though, if both parties are willing to attend, keep an open mind, and listen to the counselor. Sometimes it can be difficult to get your partner on board with counseling sessions. This is especially true if you’re in the middle of an argument. Here are some tips to help convince your partner to give it a try.
Ask for Time to Talk
The last thing you want to do is make your spouse feel ambushed, especially if he or she is less worried about your relationship or coping methods. Tell your significant other you wish to discuss something important about your relationship and suggest a specific time. Don’t try to force the discussion when there are distractions – wait until you can focus on each other. You might try waiting until after a sports game or once the children are in bed.
Lead With Something Positive
You should never jump right into the issues or negative thoughts. Make sure you tell your partner how much you value your relationship. Talk about your relationship’s strengths, such as always having fun together. Then gently transition into the things that are bothering you. Say that you want to work together to fix these problems.
Don’t Place Blame
It’s very important not to point fingers. Make sure you own up to any of your own shortcomings and talk about things in an inclusive fashion. Say, “We do such and such,” instead of, “You do this or that.” Marital and relationship problems are never caused by one person alone. Focus on the ways you both can improve together.
Talk About What You Want From Your Relationship
If either of you has tried to make things better, recognize that, but discuss how you want your relationship to be more fulfilling, connected, and alive. You can mention that you’d like to see a counselor. It’s usually helpful to mention the tools and skills you’ll be able to learn from going to talk with a counselor.
Listen to Your Spouse
Her concerns are just as valid as yours, and she may have serious questions about marriage counseling. Answer honestly and completely and you’ll likely be able to overcome these worries.
Suggesting couples counseling may seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Treat your partner with respect. Never point fingers and it will be much more likely he will agree to make at least one visit.