Feeling Ignored in Your Relationship?


Relationships require a delicate balance.
Both people want to feel loved and valued. The more appreciated each person feels, the more willing he or she is to put forth effort and work together for a happy partnership.
This need for approval and affection, however, is one of the reasons it can be difficult to cope with someone ignoring you. It’s important to handle problems carefully and refrain from pushing your partner further away.

What to Do When Feeling Ignored
You should avoid certain actions, no matter how ignored or neglected you may feel. Never:

  • Jump to conclusions. Many situations and events in life can draw someone’s attention and make your partner seem distracted or withdrawn. Feeling ignored does not necessarily mean there is a cause for concern.
  • Accuse your partner. Never make accusations against your partner without verifiable evidence. Any false accusations will push your partner further away.
  • Ignore signs of other issues. Don’t overlook or dismiss important information. Contradictory behavior or things not adding up could be signs your partner is indirectly asking for help. It also helps to consider the situation from your partner’s point of view.
  • Become defensive. Even though you may feel hurt or neglected, don’t let those feelings turn into anger or defensiveness. Arguing will most likely increase the rift between you and your partner.
  • Play the victim. It’s okay to feel hurt – your partner’s actions may feel like rejection. However, understand that the actions likely aren’t about you or the relationship.

How to Cope with Being Ignored
Instead of being overcome by emotions and jumping to conclusions, approach the situation carefully. Focus on the facts. Feelings can be misleading, so information must be top priority.

Do your best to meet your own needs first. Many people feel ignored because they depend on a partner to meet their personal needs. If you rely on your significant other to feel loved, attractive, successful, or special, you may end up feeling disappointed, alone, or neglected. It’s understandable to want to feel your partner’s love. Your partner should be loving and affectionate, of course, but should not be your sole source of affirmation.

Couples counseling can be a great way to work through these issues and find the real cause of the distant feelings in your relationship. Working with your partner through counseling can help you face underlying problems and grow stronger together.

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